Mason Williams J. Edgar Swoop

I had fun with this song as a preteen playing it on the suitcase portable record player/speaker.

As everyone knows the eagle's supposed to be the symbol of freedom.
They're very respected, government protected; it's against the law to eat 'em.
On dollars and collars and medals for scholars and flags that wag in the wind,
on cigars you puff and American stuff, the eagle is proudly pinned.

With such a position in American tradition eagles are responsible birds.
Moral delinquency's an idiosyncrasy that seldom if ever incurs.
But there once was an eagle who was not very regal by the name of J. Edgar Swoop.
It was quite often heard that bird's absurd, and ought be kept in a coop.

An example I'd say would be his toupee which he thought made him look debonair.
When he went to pike he'd always hitchhike; he never did travel by air.
J. hung around the streets of downtown. He said "Them mountains are dull.
All that you meets is occasional sheeps or maybe a high fly'n gull."

But the worst thing of all was that he had the gall to wear some baggy ol' knickers.
They were pink and blue plaid and fit him so bad, they caused titters, followed by snickers.
Well, in the government town the word got around about J. Edgar and his antics.
So a meeting was held and some Senators yelled "un-American" and the usual pedantics.
The FBI director, the Federal Bird Inspector, was called in to handle the deal.
He said "It looks like to me this eagle's too free, I 'spect he's gone over the hill."

"Well, there's only one choice" said the people's voice "America's depend'n on us.
We've got to find this bird and give him the word E pluribus unum or bust."
So the FBI, well they went out to try to make J. claw the line.
But he just wouldn't listen so they throwed him in prison to pay for his treacherous crime.

In the government town when things quieted down they decided to make an appendage.
'Cause the symbol of the country was in the penitentiary and they needed a new government image.
A measure was born and committees were formed to find a new Yankee Doodle.
And the symbol that best reflected the West was none but the miniature poodle.
Some argued the fact of what a poodle lacked. "Besides" they said, "They're French."
"But," said the committee "so's the Statue of Liberty.", so it went up before the bench.
Well the measure was passed and the law at last, was entered onto government logs
J. Edgar didn't care, poodles are *****; America's gone to the dogs!

from https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HDt2yx0jyTQ