How Responsibility Imbalance Slowly Destroys Connection in Marriage

Every marriage has its patterns—but some patterns quietly drain the relationship long before anyone notices.

Some of us absorb blame like a sponge.
We apologize first, we apologize most, and we apologize even when we’re not sure we did anything wrong. It feels noble, even spiritual, but really it’s self-protection… the fear of conflict disguised as humility.

Others rarely apologize at all.
We justify, deflect, point out our spouse’s flaws, or explain away our behavior so we never have to face our part. It feels logical, even reasonable… but really it’s avoidance wrapped in self-righteousness.

Both extremes are rooted in old stories—childhood patterns, survival strategies, unhealed wounds.

But no marriage can grow when one person carries all the weight and the other carries none of it.

Healthy connection requires shared responsibility.
Not perfection. Not equal blame every time.
Just two people willing to look honestly at themselves, admit their part, and grow together instead of against each other.

So ask yourself…
Are you the one who absorbs everything?
Or the one who rarely owns anything?

Either way, there is a path forward—one that leads to balance, emotional safety, and real change.

If you’re ready to break these old patterns and build something healthier, I’d love to walk with you.

Marriage in Bloom:
https://debbiecaudle.com/marriageinbloom

#marriageinbloom #christianmarriage #marriagehealing #relationshipgrowth