Getting Old (funny song)

Song: Getting Old
Lyrics: ai & Aaron J. Weaver
Music & Voices: ai

[verse1]
The golden years have come at last,
My youth and vigor long have passed.
My knees now creak a mournful song,
For anything active would be wrong.

My bones are a weather-wise old friend,
Predicts the rain coming around the bend.
It twinges with a sudden awful shout,
Someone tell me, what this is all about?

[verse2]
My hands, once nimble, strong, and quick,
Now holding a pen is a harder trick.
They stiffen up in arthritic dread,
Like concrete blocks filled up with lead.

Just a simple stoop, or a graceful bend?
Now at the chiropractor's, on weekends.
My hip, it groans a deep, sad disgrace,
"Oh, this is now a no-jump place!"

[verse3]
To pick up a sock, was simple chore,
I now just stare at it upon the floor.
To rise from chairs is now an art,
A three-step plan to make the start.

I grunt, I push, I make a sound,
Just thankful, I'm off the ground,
As I get older, the years aren't kind,
With aches and pains, this life of mine.

[chorus]
Getting old is not a grand thing,
Cause all the pain and trouble it brings,
And all you'd think were the better days,
Now stock up on aspirin and Bengay.