How Coping with Infertility Changed My Life | Ann M. Koshute & Fr. Paul Varchola West | Dr. J Show

We look at the hidden emotional and spiritual challenges of infertility and how Springs in the Desert accompanies couples carrying this cross. The guests share the ministry’s origins, the grief and identity struggles many couples face, the different ways men and women process infertility, and the need for compassionate pastoral care. They also explain how community, faith, and a focus on Christ—not just conception—help couples find hope, healing, and a sense of fruitfulness in their marriages.

Ann M. Koshute, MTS, is co-founder and Executive Director of Springs in the Desert, a Catholic ministry offering spiritual and emotional support to women and couples carrying the cross of infertility and loss. A graduate of the Pontifical John Paul II Institute, she and her husband Keith are Byzantine Catholics living in Central Pennsylvania. Ann speaks at conferences and retreats, contributes regularly to Eastern Catholic Life, and has written for Ascension Press’s Catechism in a Year Companion and daily Scripture reflections; in 2021 she was appointed to the USCCB’s Advisory Council. Fr. Paul Varchola West, Spiritual Father for Springs in the Desert, was ordained a Byzantine Catholic priest in 2020 and serves as pastor of Our Lady of Perpetual Help in Levittown, Pennsylvania. A columnist for Eastern Catholic Life, he was appointed Director of Deacons for the Byzantine Catholic Eparchy of Passaic in 2025. He and his wife Alissa, married in 2009, enjoy music, the outdoors, and life with their two children—blessings that came after many years of prayers and infertility treatments.

http://www.springsinthedesert.org
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00:00 Introduction to Springs in the Desert
05:24 The Journey of Infertility and Founding the Ministry
08:33 Understanding Byzantine Catholicism and Spiritual Leadership
11:22 The Role of Spiritual Support in Infertility
14:11 Navigating Medical and Spiritual Aspects of Infertility
17:16 The Emotional Landscape of Infertility
20:23 Programs and Resources Offered by Springs in the Desert
23:25 The Importance of Community and Shared Experiences
26:30 Addressing Grief and Loss in Infertility
29:19 The Unique Perspectives of Men and Women in Infertility
32:46 Navigating Emotional Responses in Marriage
38:56 The Role of the Church in Supporting Infertility
49:51 Addressing Pregnancy Loss and Grief
54:24 Understanding Identity Beyond Infertility
01:02:01 The Temptation of Objectification in Relationships
01:04:54 The Struggle with Self-Absorption and Spirituality
01:08:37 The Urgency of Infertility Ministry Today
01:11:53 Changing the Conversation Around Infertility
01:16:33 Normalizing Infertility in Young Education
01:21:58 The Importance of Connection and Community
01:25:18 Action Items for Supporting Couples Facing Infertility
01:35:23 Real Estate Commercial

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