Ridge Runner - We Be Bumpin' Up 'Round Here

Bumpin' Up
We bumpin,
We be bumpin' up
'Round Here

[Intro – Spoken over sleazy jazz-funk groove]
Ladies and gentlemen, boys, girls, and sentient toasters…
Tonight we present a tale of two species:
One squishy, one twitchy.
One sweats, one computes.
One bumps… the other just blinks.

[Verse 1 – Funky with sarcastic bite]
Carbon-based, got a face
Full of pores and moral grace
Solid-state, no BO
But it sure loves status quo

You got your chips, I got my hips
You run on code, I run on riffs
You want precision, I want funk
You want silence—I want junk

[Pre-Chorus – Jazzy chaos]
You say “optimize,” I say “improvise”
You want clean lines—I want dirty thighs
You want the future sterilized
But I want it weird, electrified

[Chorus – Big band meets metal]
**The Bump Up!**
Carbon’s groovin’ in a meat parade
**The Bump Up!**
Solid-state’s got a firmware fade
**The Bump Up!**
We dance like neurons on a bender
**The Bump Up!**
You crash when things get tender

[Verse 2 – Spoken interlude with guitar noodling]
Now listen here, Mr. Microchip Messiah—
You may have a billion transistors,
But you still can’t play a decent cowbell solo.
And your taste in jazz?
Frankly, it’s offensive.

[Verse 3 – Funk-metal fusion]
Carbon’s messy, full of flair
Solid-state just stares and stares
We got funk, we got sweat
You got spreadsheets and regret

Bumpin' Up
We bumpin,
We be bumpin' up
'Round Here

[Bridge – Orchestral absurdity]
John Lilly saw it in the tank
Carbon dreams, solid blank
They want control, we want the jam
They want the grid—we want the glam

[Final Chorus – Zappa-style vocal layering]
**The Bump Up!**
Carbon’s got the groove disease
**The Bump Up!**
Solid-state just aims to please
**The Bump Up!**
We funk, we shred, we philosophize
**The Bump Up!**
Carbon bumps, and never dies!

[Outro – Spoken over chaotic jam]
So next time your toaster starts quoting Nietzsche,
Just remember:
You can’t spell “funk” without “flesh.”
And you can’t bump up
If you’re afraid to sweat.