The Swellington Tonight
TheSwellington
- 4 / 16
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Swellington Tonight: Mr. Ed’s Grandson EXPOSES Hollywood! | Bigfoot Comedy & Wild Prank Calls
26:51

Swellington Tonight: Mr. Ed’s Grandson EXPOSES Hollywood! | Bigfoot Comedy & Wild Prank Calls

Tonight’s madcap lineup includes: 🐴 A fiery interview with the GREAT-grandson of Mr. Ed (he says the horse was a classically trained actor—but treated like a common horse!) 🎸 The moody music of Elliott Smith 💻 A word from our sponsor: Cyber Stress ☎️ Wildman Gene Sasser prank-calls the President 🦶 Bigfoot does standup comedy (yes…Bigfoot) 🎤 And Pat Dixon plays us out
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Swellington Tonight: ChatGPT, Psychic Powers & an Alien Comic?! 🚀
0:00

Swellington Tonight: ChatGPT, Psychic Powers & an Alien Comic?! 🚀

Welcome to Swellington Tonight! We’ve got a HUGE show lined up: 💥 An explosive interview with ChatGPT (yes, the AI finally talks!) 🎸 Music from the great Aaron Lee Tesjun 🎄 Presented by The Dolly Parton Christmas Show 🛸 The FIRST comedy set ever by Asgard the Alien 🔮 Karmax the Great unveils bizarre psychic abilities 🎷 And Pat Dixon plays us out in style Plus… Cardiff checks in, and before all of that—I’ve got something on my mind… Tune in and buckle up. It’s going to get weird (the good kind). 😎✨
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Swellington Tonight: Winter Parkour, Colter Wall, Wild Jean Susser Prank Calls & Pat Dixon!
23:57

Swellington Tonight: Winter Parkour, Colter Wall, Wild Jean Susser Prank Calls & Pat Dixon!

Welcome to Swellington Tonight — the only late-night show where philosophy meets phony phone calls, winter parkour meets cowboy music, and Santa Claus signs the checks. Tonight’s show is stacked: ❄️ Adventure Time: Winter Ice Parkour madness 🎶 Music: A special performance from the one and only Colter Wall 🎅 Tonight’s Sponsor: Santa Claus (yes, THAT Santa Claus) 📞 Prank Calls: The legendary Wild Jean Susser returns as I call “famous people,” hit the Sasser Drop™, and watch the chaos unfold 🎸 Closing Music: The always razor-sharp Pat Dixon plays us out
The Destroyer Arrives… And We Finally Look Down
30:17

The Destroyer Arrives… And We Finally Look Down

A poetic firestorm of truth, myth, and American illusion. Doors of perception crack open and the skeletons come tumbling out. Monsters in shadow, children sold for fame, vampires in the halls of power— and a nation staring proudly at the horizon to avoid the filth at its feet. Tonight on The Swellington Tonight (11/22): • Smart or Not Smart – Robb Spewak Edition • Interview with The Epstein Files (everyone pleads the Fifth) • My Blind Uncle Visits Paris – black screen, “French” voices barely French • Music from Grant Lee Buffalo • SlopTime: How to Cook a Turkey (or Something Like One) • Stand-up Comedy • Pat Dixon closes the night A variety show wrapped in a sermon wrapped in a fever dream— America, we rise… but do we dare look down? #SwellingtonTonight #AmericaUnmasked #PoeticRant #DarkComedy #PoliticalSatire #TruthBombs #EpsteinFiles #VarietyShow #GrantLeeBuffalo #LiveShow #TonightShowParody #SocialCommentary #SpokenWord #ComedyMix #PatDixon #SlopTime #SmartOrNotSmart #InternetShow #YouTubeShorts #MonstersAmongUs
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“Kash Patel Goes FULL Macho Man on Live TV | Swellington Tonight Chaos Episode!”
32:12

“Kash Patel Goes FULL Macho Man on Live TV | Swellington Tonight Chaos Episode!”

Welcome to another surreal, unhinged, comedy-drama-late-night fever dream straight from The Swellington Tonight Show. Tonight’s lineup is stacked:
• FBI Director Kash Patel delivers the wildest Macho Man tribute you’ve ever seen.
• We play What Does AI Know?
• Music from Bright Eyes
• Stand-up from Fred Stoller
• Pat Dixon plays us out
• And a monologue that goes from Christmas lights… to Jesus’ mother… to retail racks… to Darwin’s anatomy… to ancient goose scandals in Israel.
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Fat Kids, King Charles and the End of Democracy| The Swellington Tonight
28:11

Fat Kids, King Charles and the End of Democracy| The Swellington Tonight

“King Charles rants, Maxine reports on Halloween chaos — only on Swellington Tonight!” 🇺🇸👑 The elections are over, the Royals are raging, and the kids are getting heavier! Watch S1E9 of The Swellington Tonight — where satire reigns supreme. 🍬 “No candy, no country!” 🍬 🎥 Featuring King Charles, Maxine Dupree & Cardiff Electric Band #Comedy #Satire #SwellingtonTonight #KingCharles #HalloweenNews
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“The Swellington Tonight: Wiener Olympics, Clairvoyance & Frog Eyes LIVE!”
31:59

“The Swellington Tonight: Wiener Olympics, Clairvoyance & Frog Eyes LIVE!”

Welcome to The Swellington Tonight — where chaos, comedy, and clairvoyance collide! Tonight we witness the breathtaking Wiener Dog Olympics, the prophetic powers of clairvoyant Swellington, and music from Frog Eyes. Featuring the side-splitting comedy of Mike Boschetti, closing jazz from Pat Dixon, and a special tribute to the power of hope, humor, and a little madness in America today. 🎭 It’s absurd. It’s heartfelt. It’s Swellington Tonight.
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The Swellington Tonight: King Kong Speaks Out | Cat Massage & Late-Night Madness”
27:29

The Swellington Tonight: King Kong Speaks Out | Cat Massage & Late-Night Madness”

lcome to The Swellington Tonight, the most surreal late-night variety show on Earth. King Kong breaks his Hollywood silence with shocking career advice, Master Ken’s self-defense tips cross the line, and Mary Jean Volner reveals the secrets of Cat Massage with Champion the cat. Between the laughter and chaos, the host takes aim at media overload, fame, and the price of showbiz. Music, madness, and midnight musings—nothing is off limits. 🎥 Featuring: King Kong | Master Ken | Mary Jean Volner & Champion | Dan Soder | Pat Nixon 💬 Subscribe for more late-night satire, celebrity chaos, and cultural critique. #InsideTheMonsterStudio #SwellingtonTonight #LateNightNotes #TalkShowParody #ComedyVarietyShow #PopCultureSatire #HollywoodSpoof
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ALIEN RANT FROM MELMAC 🔥 Big Apartment Fire + Ralphie May ROASTS LA + Jazz Cat Rock Cats GO WILD!
16:31

ALIEN RANT FROM MELMAC 🔥 Big Apartment Fire + Ralphie May ROASTS LA + Jazz Cat Rock Cats GO WILD!

⏰🚀 TIME IS DELICIOUS – a cosmic meditation on cats, cows, and garlic bread. Then blast off into the wildest NYC tent show yet: 0:00 Host riffs on TIME – babies laugh without iPhones, aliens skip social media 3:10MAXINE DEP PREY live from BIG APARTMENT FIRE – “We ain’t goin’ in no fire, not today!” 5:40CARMAX FROM MELMAC drops unhinged 6-month serotonin reset rant (signal lost mid-curse) 8:20WENDY’S “WHERE’S THE BEEF?” classic ad + Junior Bacon Cheeseburger love ($1!) 10:30RALPHIE MAY torches LA hood life: “Population: all them [expletive]” 14:00JAZZ CAT ROCK CATS – actual cats shredding guitars, meowing solos, pure chaos 17:50Pat Dixon croons “Midnight with the Stars and You” (The Shining vibes) Raw, unscripted, intergalactic. Smash LIKE if you’d eat garlic bread with an alien! 🛸😺 #MelmacAlien #RalphieMay #CatBand #Wendys #LiveComedy
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Swellington Halloween Pop Banger + Mountain Goats LIVE in NYC Storm Prayer Comedy Chaos!
17:46

Swellington Halloween Pop Banger + Mountain Goats LIVE in NYC Storm Prayer Comedy Chaos!

🎃👻 SWELLINGTON TONIGHT! A spooky-cute original Halloween pop tune explodes into a full-on variety blast from a secret NYC comedy tent! 0:00 “Swellington Tonight” – monsters, mummies, and werewolves crash the family party in this infectious cartoon Halloween anthem 2:15 Heartfelt storm prayer for Jamaica & the Carolinas – humanity vs. nature in spoken-word poetry 5:40 Mountain Goats perform their haunting classic “This Year” acoustic under tent lights 9:30 Shasta Cola magic ad + Rodney Norman’s existential stand-up limb-walk 12:20 Pat Dixon closes with midnight crooner “Midnight with the Stars and You” (yes, the Shining song) Filmed guerilla-style outside the club (they literally tried to kick the camera guy out). Raw laughs, live music, and real-time hope while the hurricane rages. Hit LIKE if you’d knock on Swellington’s door! 🦇🍬 #HalloweenSong #MountainGoats #NYCComedy #LiveMusic #StormPrayer
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SWELLINGTON HALLOWEEN POP EXPLOSION 🎃 MJ Metal’s Flaming Habanero Brew + Tiger Moves & Chicken Riots
25:46

SWELLINGTON HALLOWEEN POP EXPLOSION 🎃 MJ Metal’s Flaming Habanero Brew + Tiger Moves & Chicken Riots

🦇🍬 SWELLINGTON TONIGHT – the catchiest cartoon Halloween anthem you’ll loop all October! Then buckle up for a wild NYC tent-variety blast: 0:00 “Swellington Tonight” FULL SONG – vampires, mummies, werewolves & kids collide in pop perfection 2:30 Heartfelt ode to FRIENDS (the ultimate trick-or-treat squad) 5:10Martin Amini roasts front-row “just friends” Christian & Sarah (SAVAGE friend-zone takedown) 8:45MJ METAL conjures a spicy habanero-mango-Pepsi potion that literally breathes fire 11:20John Peek shreds rock riffs for his buddy Jan Phenom 12:50TIGER MOVES – ancient feline fitness secrets (yes, stomach rolls included) 15:30BREAKING NEWS: Popeye’s CHICKEN APOCALYPSE – customers riot over the $4.99 special 18:00Pat Dixon croons the eerie “Midnight with the Stars and You” (The Shining vibes) Shot raw outside the club on Halloween night. Costumes, cauldrons, and zero chicken. Smash LIKE if you’d dare drink MJ’s brew! 🔥👻 #HalloweenAnthem #Swellington #SpicyDrink #ComedyRoast #TigerMoves
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SWELLINGTON HALLOWEEN POP SMASH 🎃 Joe’s 7.0 Wendy's TENDIES + Bill Callahan LIVE & GINSU Knife Chaos
34:29

SWELLINGTON HALLOWEEN POP SMASH 🎃 Joe’s 7.0 Wendy's TENDIES + Bill Callahan LIVE & GINSU Knife Chaos

🍬🦇 SWELLINGTON TONIGHT – the ultimate family-friendly Halloween banger! Then dive into a wild NYC tent of treats & tricks: 0:00“Swellington Tonight” FULL SONG – monsters, mummies, and candy corn collide in pop perfection 2:40 Spoken-word on LOSERS, LAWNS & LEAVES (deep life wisdom while Dylan’s still alive) 6:10JOE IS HUNGRY nukes Wendy’s NEW Chicken Tenders – 205°F temps, sneaky-doodle bites, final score 7.0 11:30HARI KABLAU stand-up lightning round 13:20CURIOUS VIC builds last-minute Halloween costumes out of pure chaos (cardboard + dreams) 16:50BILL CALLAHAN performs haunting “I Love You Now” acoustic under pumpkin lights 21:00GINSU KNIFE retro ad – cuts cans, tomatoes, and your mind 23:30Pat Dixon croons “Midnight with the Stars and You” (The Shining chills) Raw Halloween-night energy filmed outside the club. Smash LIKE if you’d dare Joe’s 205°F tendy! 🔥🍗 #HalloweenSong #WendysReview #BillCallahan #GinsuKnife #LiveMusic
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SWELLINGTON TONIGHT| 🧠 Slop Time PORK BRAINS Nightmare + Earl Skakel ROASTS LA + Portland Chaos!
18:05

SWELLINGTON TONIGHT| 🧠 Slop Time PORK BRAINS Nightmare + Earl Skakel ROASTS LA + Portland Chaos!

🎤🍖 SWELLINGTON TONIGHT – EPISODE 1 PREMIERE! Bugs-to-fix live TV chaos from the secret NYC tent: 0:00 Host rants FREEDOM, CROCS & SAUDI BLOOD MONEY – “Sneak candy into movies, America!” 4:20SLOP TIME gags on ROSE PORK BRAINS IN MILK GRAVY – 1000mg cholesterol, BILLION/5 slop rating 8:10OSWALT JUSTICE live from PORTLAND STREETS – acoustic liberals, coffee, Trump warnings 11:30DUCT TAPE CROC HUNT sponsor ad – “Not even YOU can escape the tape!” 13:40EARL SKAKEL destroys: “Do you wanna line up and kick me in the balls?” (crowd: YES) 17:00Pat Dixon croons “Midnight with the Stars and You” (The Shining chills) Raw, unhinged, first-episode energy. Smash LIKE if you’d try pork brains for the slop! 🤮😂 #SwellingtonTonight #SlopTime #EarlSkakel #Portland #LiveComedy
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The Swellington Tonight| 🎃 Rock-Paper-Scissors $50K Thriller + Yan Fresh BLOOD MAGIC!
37:27

The Swellington Tonight| 🎃 Rock-Paper-Scissors $50K Thriller + Yan Fresh BLOOD MAGIC!

📺⚡ “LATE NIGHT STATIC” – an original electro-dirge about TV zombies, plastic smiles, and burning brains. Then plunge into a glitchy Halloween variety vortex from the secret NYC tent: 0:00“Late Night Static” FULL SONG – cigarette smoke, talking heads, electric haze 2:30 Fall rant: TURKEY GANGS vs SANTA’S CONSUMER APOCALYPSE (Steinbeck meets Goya) 6:40TERRY PRANKS spills Hollywood tea: Cardi B assault, Jolie’s back tat, Bieber vs. Selena 9:20STAVROS live stand-up meltdown (rockabilly fat guy energy) 11:50BUENO CHEN drops hypnotic “HEAT” loops 14:10ROCK-PAPER-SCISSORS CHAMPIONSHIP – $50K on the line, weak scissors, New England glory 18:30M&M’S ad: dark chocolate family drama 20:00YAN FRESH performs “Romeo Is Bleeding”… then literal BLOOD MAGIC (mind = blown) 24:40Pat Dixon croons “Midnight with the Stars and You” (The Shining chills) Raw, flickering, late-night public-access fever dream. Smash LIKE if the static got in your veins! 🖤📡 #LateNightStatic #HalloweenSong #RockPaperScissors #YanFresh #LiveMagic
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The Swellington Tonight| 📺 Parkour Flips + Burroughs’ Sultan of Sewers + 8/10 Devil Whopper!
25:40

The Swellington Tonight| 📺 Parkour Flips + Burroughs’ Sultan of Sewers + 8/10 Devil Whopper!

🖤📡 “LATE NIGHT STATIC” – original midnight dirge about glowing screens, dead words, and cigarette shadows. Then tumble into a fever-dream NYC tent of beauty & chaos: 0:00“Late Night Static” FULL SONG – talking heads, plastic smiles, endless chain 2:20 Spoken-word on BEAUTY (sunrise cliffs, chicken-soup tears, mother-cat pride) 5:50PARKOUR DEMO – flips, falls, and concrete philosophy 8:10CARRIE CREDITS botches John Cusack interview (American Beauty = whoops) 10:30WILLIAM S. BURROUGHS reads “When Did You Stop Wanting to Be President?” – sewer slush funds & Old Glory in the methane breeze 15:40HENRIETTA & MARINA gospel “Go Tell It on the Mountain” under haunted lights 18:20JAKA AKAKE devours Burger King Devil Whopper – messy, spicy, 8/10 21:00Pat Dixon croons “Midnight with the Stars and You” (The Shining chills) Raw late-night public-access energy. Smash LIKE if the static’s in your veins! 🌙🔥 #LateNightStatic #WilliamBurroughs #Parkour #DevilWhopper #LiveMusic
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A Wild Night on Swellington Tonight: Brad Pitt, Magic & a Fiery American Rant
28:40

A Wild Night on Swellington Tonight: Brad Pitt, Magic & a Fiery American Rant

Tonight on The Swellington Tonight, we’re serving chaos, class, and questionable decision-making in equal measure. We’ve got Brad Pitt, because of course we do.
We’ve got Chris Denny, because the man said he’d bring a guitar and we believed him.
We’ve got FUN or FAKE, the only game show where confidence is more important than truth.
We’ve got street magic, which may or may not violate several local ordinances. But before ANY of that… our host delivers a heartfelt monologue about America, snowflakes, polygamous sister-states, and why Gore Vidal was somehow right the whole time. It’s deep. It’s philosophical. It’s confusing. It’s America, baby. And yes—Pat Dixon will absolutely play us out like the legend he is.
Sponsored by Federated Mutual Insurance Co, because even a show like this needs liability coverage. Hit subscribe so we can continue paying our band in actual currency instead of exposure.
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The Destroyer Arrives… And We Finally Look Down

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Entertainment Comedy

A poetic firestorm of truth, myth, and American illusion.
Doors of perception crack open and the skeletons come tumbling out.
Monsters in shadow, children sold for fame, vampires in the halls of power—
and a nation staring proudly at the horizon to avoid the filth at its feet.
Tonight on The Swellington Tonight (11/22):
• Smart or Not Smart – Robb Spewak Edition
• Interview with The Epstein Files (everyone pleads the Fifth)
• My Blind Uncle Visits Paris – black screen, “French” voices barely French
• Music from Grant Lee Buffalo
• SlopTime: How to Cook a Turkey (or Something Like One)
• Stand-up Comedy
• Pat Dixon closes the night
A variety show wrapped in a sermon wrapped in a fever dream—
America, we rise… but do we dare look down?

#SwellingtonTonight #AmericaUnmasked #PoeticRant #DarkComedy #PoliticalSatire #TruthBombs #EpsteinFiles #VarietyShow #GrantLeeBuffalo #LiveShow #TonightShowParody #SocialCommentary #SpokenWord #ComedyMix #PatDixon #SlopTime #SmartOrNotSmart #InternetShow #YouTubeShorts #MonstersAmongUs

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