You’re not angry at your kids. You’re angry at yourself

You are telling yourself that the room not being perfect is why you're angry.

You're telling yourself that your kid's screaming is why you're angry. They're not putting away their toys and things not happening perfectly in the house is why you're angry.

No, that is not why you're angry. You are mad at yourself. That is why you're angry. These external things are the triggers that are making you explode.