My Balls Aint Aching Anymore

Woke up one mornin’, walkin’ like a duck,
Thought I’d lost my marbles, figured I was outta luck.

My nads were feelin’ heavy, my danglers swingin’ low,
Those tender little hangers said, “Son, take it slow.”

Tried ice, tried heat, tried prayers and doctor calls,
But nothin’ seemed to soothe my achy, swollen balls.
My nuts were in rebellion, my orbs were feelin’ tight,
Felt like my rocks were pickin’ one hell of a fight.

Rhododendron helped my stones, that mountain bloom I adore,
It settled down my family jewels like never before.
Put an end to all the throbbin’ I was tryin’ to ignore,
Now my balls ain’t achin’ anymore.

My buddy says “Cojoness hurt? Man, that ain’t a joke.”
I said “Try this remedy, it eased mine in one stroke.”
Now we’re two grown cowboys grinnin’ ear to ear,
Cause our troubles down yonder up and disappeared.

Rhododendron calmed my stones, like a cure from old folklore,
Brought peace to all my danglers that were sore before.
I’m walkin’ proud and easy, like a cowboy should once more,
Cause my balls ain’t achin’ anymore.

No doctor could explain it, no fancy words at all,
Just nature givin’ my nads relief so I could stand tall.
Now every time I’m walkin’, feelin’ breezy in my stride,
My nuts give that little flower a tip of their hat with pride.

Rhododendron soothed my rocks, right down to the core,
Now my stubborn nuts ain’t tender like before.
That mountain bloom came knockin’ like a miracle at my door,
Now my balls ain’t achin’ anymore.

I’ll ride off in the sunset feelin’ lighter than before,
Rhododendron did me right, my balls ain’t achin’ anymore.