This is pathetically sad

Leaflit reacts to @HeroHei : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xx_oFsjCW-I

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Hey everyone — it’s Leaflit here. In this video I react to Hero Hei’s viral take on Pokimane’s decision to buy herself an engagement ring and “propose” to herself. The claim: by doing that, she’s rejecting men altogether and sending a message that men aren’t needed anymore.

I’ve got thoughts — and I think this needs more nuance than a quick hot take. Here’s what I cover:

What Pokimane actually said: she bought herself a ring, explained she’d been told by fans to “just get one yourself,” and said, “the person you’re engaged to most in your life is yourself.”

Why Hero Hei and others might call this “against men”: this kind of self-engagement is framed by some as a rejection of traditional relationship norms — and by extension, as antagonistic toward men.

My take: Independence ≠ Hatred — wanting to be happy with yourself doesn’t mean you hate men. It means you value yourself and you’re rejecting toxic pressure. If someone chooses self-love over seeking validation from a partner, that’s not inherently anti-men — it’s self-respect.

The danger of oversimplification & man-bashing — calling out every woman who declares independence as “anti-men” risks painting all independent women with the same brush. That’s unfair, and it ignores the differences between self-love, feminism, and hatred.

Why this matters for all creators — including me — in a world where public image is everything, we need to be careful about judging people’s choices based on what “society expects.”

If you care about honest discourse about gender, independence and respect — like, subscribe, and hit the bell**. And drop a comment: Do you think Pokimane’s ring was an act of self-empowerment or a statement against men? Or is the concept of “needing” someone flawed altogether?

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