🚨 I’ve Never Gambled Online… Chat Is My Only Hope – Send Help

FIRST TIME EVER GAMBLING ONLINE – I HAVE LITERALLY NO IDEA WHAT I’M DOING
Yeah, that’s right. I’ve never placed a single bet in my life. Zero experience. I don’t know what a parlay is, I think “rake” is something you use in the yard, and I’m 99% sure I’m about to get absolutely cooked.Tonight the chat is my coach, my bankroll manager, my therapist, and probably the reason I go broke in under an hour. You tell me what to bet, how much, on what – I’m just the monkey hitting the buttons. We’re either printing money together or making the greatest “how did he lose that” compilation of all time.Expect: Me googling basic gambling terms live
Blindly following the dumbest (and smartest) suggestions
Pure panic when anything actually hits
Me celebrating a $2 win like I just hit the lottery

Come save me, troll me, or just watch the chaos unfold. Either way, this is probably the only time you’ll ever see someone this clueless with real money on the line Drop in, take the wheel, and let’s see if chat can turn a total noob into a degen… or just bankrupt me for content. See you there!