🎁💀📦 ⛧WHAT’S !N THΞ BØX! // UNCLΔ!MΞD_PΔCKΔGΞ // VΛЯЯ!ΔП₮ B // TRΔ$H_LØØT_ARCH!VΞ⛧📦💀🎁

THE ONLY HOLIDAY GIFT GUARANTEED TO LOWER YOUR CREDIT SCORE.
UNWRAP THE CHAOS. SHAKE IT. SNIFF IT. REGRET IT.
LIMITED STOCK — MOSTLY BECAUSE THE REST GOT RECALLED.