DEALING WITH THE THIN-SKINNED WHINERS OF THIS WORLD

DEALING WITH THIN-SKINNED EXCITABLE PEOPLE
Today we’re surrounded by these easily triggered head cases.

By and large one can describe Democrats, Socialists and Communists in our midst as being an easily triggered, excitable people. But this isn’t limited just to them as I know a couple of Conservative Republicans [MAGA if you will] who fill the bill. Look around and you’ll find at least one or more in your family, neighborhood or even your church. Like a bad case of cooties they’re no fun to be around.

I speak with many people every day because that’s part of my job. What I do is listen, question and learn from the people I meet. Some are ‘regulars’ whom I speak with on a regular basis. And others are ‘one-timers.’ I like them because with some people, “once is enough.”

Let’s take Bill for example; a highly excitable and easily triggered guy. I can only guess why he has ex-wives to bitch about. Can you imagine what they’ve got to say? His life is unsettled as a landslide. The guy’s had more jobs than even he can remember. Socially, financially, politically he’s a walking talking tsunami.

We spoke on the phone the other day and I’m not sure what it was that set him off, I don’t think he knows either. His volatile nature means I have to kiss ass to at least some extent to keep him from bitching and “taking control”. Looking back I think it was when I made the horrible mistake of criticizing his nephew. I said, “Well, one day he’ll grow up and realize his mistakes.” Not a bad line except when spoken to someone like Bill.

His hubris and need to control went from zero-to-sixty as he sprung to unnecessary and unclear defense of his nephew. As predicted he hung up the phone. So, you might ask, “What could I have done here?” Well the answer is simple in theory but can be tough as a week-old stake in practice. I’ve decided to ignore him for a while, let’s say for a week. I’ll see how he handles the silence since we usually talk about 3 times a week. I’ll just let the phone ring when he calls, and he will call.

A week later, if he calls in an aggressive mood, still triggered or whatever, I’ll just say, “I understand.” and then hang up the phone. This time he’ll get a 2 week sentence of silence. If he’s anywhere near ‘polite’ we’ll be able to chat as long as he remains as near to cordial as he can.

In retrospect, the worst thing I could have done the other day would be to have phoned him back after he hung up on me. This hang-up was a control move, and control is all about what he is about. If I had called he’d think that he “won” the previous exchange [as brief as it was] and that I’m calling to apologize for whatever his head tells him I need to apologize for.

People like this always seek validation through control. They have a ‘perceived need’ to control the world around them. This includes conversations. When I don’t give him an avenue to flex his ‘control muscle’ it either adds gasoline to the fire or it tamps down the flames just a bit.

This guy is atypical of so many people, be they Republican Conservative or Democrat Lefty [aren’t they all?] they often share similar psychological wanderlust.
They cannot settle down to one thing, or anything for that matter. This shows in their private and personal lives as well as how they treat people in person or on the phone.

This guy is about 48 years old and has had as many jobs as he’s had holiday meals. His mental, psychological, and maturity levels are in a state of constant flux. He’s about as mature and stable as a 12-year-old.

It takes a lot out of anyone to nurse this kind of relationship, and I know it’s beating me to death. Maybe, in retrospect, I should break it off. A gentle goodbye is nearly impossible so … I’ll hang up the phone and stop answering his calls.

He’s lived his life without me for many years. He’ll make his own bed, if he hasn’t already.