When The Enemy Does Your Job For You

📝SUPER EARTH INCIDENT REPORT

SUPER EARTH AFTER-ACTION SUMMARY
OPERATIONAL ANOMALY REPORT

Helldiver RubberDuck was deployed to disable an enemy Cognitive Disruptor (hereafter referred to as the “Disrupter”, per crew tradition and pronunciation precedent).

While conducting standard democratic sabotage of the Disrupter’s power supply network, an enemy Illuminate Harvester initiated a hostile blue-beam engagement.
Helldiver Duck took cover behind a nearby generator, exercising tactical patience and a strong belief in not being vaporized.

During its firing sequence, the Harvester inadvertently destroyed the final remaining power source, resulting in the immediate and fully verified completion of the objective.

Mission systems confirmed success.
Helldiver confusion was brief but patriotic.

Following this unexpected cooperation, Helldiver Duck responded appropriately by:

Expressing amazement

Laughing at the irony

Firing a Speargun bolt into the Harvester as a formal thank-you note

Enemy return fire narrowly missed Helldiver Duck’s head, reinforcing the lesson that even helpful enemies remain enemies.

CONCLUSION:
Objective complete.
Democracy upheld.
Enemy unknowingly assisted Super Earth.

Super Earth High Command reminds all Helldivers that delegation is acceptable, even when the enemy does it for you.

🎨 Pixel artwork by Cronos-99 — thanks for letting us use your art!