You Raise a Velociraptor... And IMMEDIATELY Regret It 😱🦖

Bro... what were you THINKING??
You see this cute little egg, you get all emotional like "I'm gonna raise my own dinosaur bestie," hatch a Velociraptor, name him Spike or whatever, and then reality hits like a pack of feathers and claws. One second he's chirping for snacks, next second your furniture is shredded, your dog's hiding under the bed, and you're googling "how to survive velociraptor attack in 2025."
This video is straight-up savage commentary + roast on the absolute CHAOS that happens when idiots try to domesticate a literal murder machine from 75 million years ago. We're talking zero filter: the screaming, the blood (mostly yours), the "why did I do this" breakdowns, the Jurassic-level betrayal when your "baby" turns on you faster than you can say "clever girl."
If you've ever seen those cringey "I raised a ___" videos and thought "nah, that wouldn't happen to me"... yeah, this one's for you. Velociraptor owners, come get roasted. Everyone else, come laugh at the carnage.
Be real in the comments: Would YOU raise a Velociraptor? Or are you smart enough to run the other way? Drop your side below – team "dino dad" or team "extinction was deserved"? Smash that like if you've ever been betrayed by something you tried to love, and subscribe for more unhinged roasts that hit harder than raptor claws.
Let's see how many of you survive the comment section... 🩸

Timestamps / Chapters below so you can relive the drama.
Chapters:
00:00 – Jurassic Park Lied to You
00:38 – The Velociraptor Nobody Expected
01:16 – The Egg You Shouldn’t Touch
01:58 – The Cute Phase Is a Trap
02:36 – It’s Not Bonding… It’s Learning
03:18 – Small Dinosaur, Big Problem
03:58 – You’re Not in Control Anymore
04:38 – Living With a Predator
05:18 – The Point of No Return
05:56 – Would You Risk It?

Disclaimer:
This video is for commentary, criticism, parody, and educational/entertainment purposes only. All clips, images, and references used fall under Fair Use (Section 107 of the Copyright Act) for transformative commentary on hypothetical scenarios, pop culture tropes, and absurd "what if" ideas. No copyright infringement intended.

Tags:
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