Buyer Beware - Dating In 2026

Dating in the 21st century feels less like romance and more like an FBI background check conducted during a house fire.

You don’t “meet someone” anymore — you negotiate terms and conditions. Filters, bios written like hostage notes, five different personalities depending on the app, and a constant feeling that you’re one swipe away from accidentally agreeing to something you absolutely did not sign up for.

Everybody’s got labels, disclaimers, red flags, green flags, astrology charts, trauma résumés, and a three-page emotional user manual — but nobody can just say, “Hi, I’m a normal human who eats food and argues about where to park.”

You finally meet in person and it’s like the moment when the Wi-Fi drops and reality loads. The pictures lied. The vibe lied. The bio was written by a PR team. And now you’re sitting there wondering how dating turned into a high-stakes game of emotional Minesweeper.

This isn’t a hate rant. It’s confusion. It’s exhaustion. It’s a middle-aged voice yelling, “WHEN DID THIS GET SO COMPLICATED?” while trying not to spill a beer.