13 days ago

SCRIPT:
Greetings Homosapiens.

My name is Aedyn.

As you can see, I'm a fat ugly boy with no bitches.

I ain't never had pussy since pussy had me. I came out the womb never able to get womb. I was born to never have a child be born. I was nutted out to never nut my own offspring out.

Anyways, you get the point, I'm a virgin.

Which is a damn shame, since I'm eighteen years old, and a senior in High School.

I should be fucking all the hoes, from Ugly Hilga to Starlet Stacy, but that is not my life sadly.

Unfortunately, all my life I was bullied, and shitted on by bitch ass niggas who like to tease me, and call me shit like Butterball Billy, or Fat Ass Freddy, or the Human Bouncing Ball Man Titty Bitch.

Fucking pieces of shit are lucky I was born a fat, defenselsss pussy, or else I'd beat their ass, like the rent due.

Anyway, I'm currently inside the back of an Uber.

This migrant fuck is driving me to a town called Edyn Hills. It's where my Aunt & Cousin lives.

My mom and dad are sick of me, feeling as though I'm an angry loser who spends all day in my bedroom.

I'm only angry, because I'm bullied all the time by shitbags called humans. I even stopped going to school, because the bullying was so severe.

Even when I go to the store, little kids be calling me Avalanche Andy, because I'm so fat. Like what the fuck, who taught these little motherfuckers this shit?

Anyway, my life was a living hell, so I stayed in my bedroom all day, jacking my meat. I beated my dick so often, the smell in my room would create mold on the walls.

My parents sometimes had to enter my bedroom with gas masks or even hazmat suits to clean the mold off.

I got used to the stank, and just marinated in that shit.

But now my parents are sick of my fat ass, and are sending me to go live with my relatives. It was either this, or be homeless.

Anyway, now Alkyda here, is driving me to Edyn Hills, where hopefully I can start a new life, but I know it won't be new.

I'll get bullied like I always do. Doesn't matter where I go, people gonna crack my fat ass open like an egg, and take a shit on my yolk soul, making me more depressed until I finally jump off a wall & have a great fall like humpty Dumpty.

Pieces of dog shit just won't let me be happy.

Anyway, so that's the situation I'm in. I'm going to this bitch new town, where I'm gonna be bitch ass bullied, by bitch ass bitch asses, who have nothing better to do, than pick on bitch ass me.

Fucking bullshit.

Why did I have to be born like this? Why couldn't I have been born Chad?! Like come on God, what did I ever do to deserve this pussy ass life of mistreatment?!

I should just kill myself, and put a bomb in my stomach, that's timed to go off at my funeral, so all my bitch ass loved ones can join me in the afterlife.

Motherfuckers.

Anyway, I'm just sad. My parents don't want me. Women don't want me. The whole world don't want me, and it's just really depressing.

A sigh escapes my lips as I stare out the window of the Uber, looking like a sad piece of shit left in the rain on a cold sidewalk.

Just then, a shooting star flew over the sky.

"I wish I was Chad", I whisper in a sad tone, all the while the Muslim Uber driver is playing weird ass music from a language I don't understand.

I then continue to stare out the car window, at the darkness of the desert, as my Uber driver keeps driving.

I feel so numb in sadness, when suddenly...

"What the fuck!", the Uber driver yells.

Just then, the Uber I'm in gets into a crash, that causes me to knock out unconscious.

Moments pass, before I finally wake up.

"Ah fuck", I groan in pain, feeling the worst headache ever.

I open my eyes, and can see the dark road in front of me, but no front seats of the Uber I was in.

"What the fuck?", I mutter.

I then look around me, and see that my car seat is all that remains from the crash.

I struggle to stand, but manage to get up.

"What happened?", I question in confusion.

Just then, I hear fire behind me.

I then look behind me, where I see the rest of the Uber vehicle, skidded across the road, in a streak of wreckage.

At the end of the streak, is a giant meteor.

"Woah", I whisper to myself, before walking towards the wreckage.

The closer I get, the more I can see a trail of blood that surely belonged to the Uber driver.

"Poor bastard", I thought.

I continue walking through the wreckage, realizing everything in the Uber was absolutely eviscerated, except me and the section of the car where I was sitting.

"How is that possible?", I think, before seeing the Uber driver's eyeball on the road.

"Oh shit", I think, feeling genuinely sorry for the man.

It's then I look up at the fallen meteor.

"You did this", I mutter, before approaching the meteor.

It towers over me, as I get closer, and began to examine it.

All around it, there are strange neon minerals pulsating.

"What kind of meteor is this?", I think to myself, before suddenly stepping on a cracked piece of glass, that surely came from the Uber car.

Without thinking, I look down.

My eyes suddenly widen in shock as I stare at my own reflection.

I see something, I just can not believe.

In my reflection, is the hottest man I've ever seen.

An epiphany dawns on me, but one I couldn't believe was true.