At Your Service

Inspired by the trivialization of death, a definition that was once held dear. Death once had a clear definition; it used to be denoted as the passage of life. Now it’s trivialized; businesses that are sold or go bankrupt are “dead,” characters in plays are declared “dead,” and playoff aspirations for sports teams are trumpeted by sportscasters as “dead.” The original meaning of death is watered down so much such that when actual death does occur, we are completely unprepared for it and have no ability to cope in its aftermath. Earthly life, when taken by God, won’t return with the next performance, business quarter, or football season, it is permanent. The “At Your Service” sketch illustrates this by showing that, upon close examination, none of the “funerals” Girving and Ruder honor anyone who has actually passed away.

Girving: “Stupendous all around. Apart from that obnoxious brat who shouted into the grave before the graveside service…”
Sylvester: “SUFFERIN SUCCOTASH!!! THAT’S THE HOLE THEY’RE GONNA PUT HER IN?!”

One of our troupe members uttered these very words prior to his paternal grandmother’s funeral when he was eight years old (without the corn and bean reference, of course). He’s reminded about this from time to time by his mother. She usually provides it with the accompanying lisp to impersonate how he sounded at the time.

Ruder: “Not so fast, Girving. While I liked the soundtrack, I didn’t think much of the funeral; neither did the public. Too much damn confusion as to who’s dead and who isn’t, not to mention that everyone calls everyone else ‘kid,’ so I can’t even tell the parents from the children without a program.”

There are so many bewildering uses of the word “kid” In “Death of a Salesman.” Willy Loman calls his wife, Linda, “kid,” Howard Wagner, Willy Loman’s boss, calls the older, 63 year old Mr. Loman “kid,” Charley, Willy’s neighbor, calls Willy “kid,” Bernard, Charley’s son (who is in his mid -30s), calls Willy “kid,” Willy and Linda’s sons Biff (older) and Happy (younger), call each other “Kid” and Biff, Willy’s son, calls his own dad “kid.” The 1940s were strange times.

Ruder: “Finally, we have the Delano Digby High School varsity football team. Their playoff aspirations tragically died last Friday when quarterback Paul McKenzie threw his third interception of the night. Despite going 15 for 24 for 220 yards and a touchdown, and the defense getting to the visiting team’s QB nine times, DDHS just couldn’t manage to get out of its own way. Yes, this service was quite disappointing. Their postseason hopes are survived by a fired head coach and a disgruntled fan base…”

This funeral review makes many references to The Beatles song “Eleanor Rigby.” The football stats were taken from the Jan. 22, 2022 Bengals-Titans Divisional Round playoff game. Fortunately, the then-head coach for the Titans, Mike Vrabel, wasn’t fired after that game. The firing would come nearly two years later.

Voiceover and caption: “’At Your Service’ has been sponsored by Genuine Aunt Jeremiah Cast Iron Frying Pans. Now available for the low, low price of 7:15! Marked down from 23:39. Aunt Jeremiah! Cast your seed, your brethren and your philandering husband’s skull all with one handy dandy skillet! Try it today!”

Jeremiah 7:15 - “And I will cast you out of my sight, as I have cast out all of your brethren, even the whole seed of Ephraim.” (King James Version).

Jeremiah 23:39 - “Therefore, behold, I, even I, will utterly forget you, and I will forsake you, and the city that I gave you and your fathers, and cast you out of my presence.” (King James Version).

Well, if you’re gonna cast someone out of your sight, might as well do it with real cast iron.

Reference:

Miller, A. (1949). Death of a Salesman. New York: The Viking Press. https://archive.org/details/deathofsalesmanv0000unse/page/n9/mode/2up

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Convulsions of Birth and Death (CoBaD) is a comedy sketch troupe founded in September, 2022 that posts skits on social media covering varied topics such as music, history, art, science, sports, literature and events encountered in everyday life. The title was inspired by Henry David Thoreau’s “Civil Disobedience” (1849), an essay written as a protest against the U.S. government taking his “gift” (i.e., his taxes), and wasting it in ways in which he did not approve (e.g., war and slavery). CoBaD writes sketches in the spirit of Thoreau, but instead of strictly casting its nets outwards towards governments and figures of authority, it projects its protest inwards by taking a humorous, lightheaded look at humanity and specifically those who take the greatest gift of all, life, and senselessly and stupidly waste it on greed, narcissism, self-centeredness, petty-mindedness, arrogance, opportunism, power-grabbing, quid pro quo, the status quo, ulterior motives, and the most despicable waste of all, society’s cheapening and belittling of death.