Universal Soldier: Moose Meet Squirrel

"WHY CAN'T I BE NATASHA?" TRUE SPIES

In the 1980s, when, according to one local newspaper, I was running for Congress, impossible because I would have been too young, as if that mattered in accurate reporting, in ROTC we taught cadets the Nine Principles of War, and to make it Sesame Street Simple, we had an acronym to assist as a mnemonic device: MOOSEMUSS.

Now, I attended the most competitive college in Virginia, and even there freshman and sophomores had difficulty trying to remember nine phrases, while a novel coronavirus, alleged to be zoonotically evolved, has mastered all nine, with we must assume no brain or sentient thought capacity