My Wife's on a Healthy Diet

My campfire talent show performance at Camp PBC (Lake Siskiyou, California) on Tuesday, July 30, 2019: "My Wife's on a Healthy Diet" is a parody of the song "Down Under". I apologize for the breaks where I forgot the lyrics.

Video by Holly Leonard.

Original Tune by Colin Hay and Ron Strykert, co-founders of the Australian rock band Men at Work.

Parody Lyrics by Penn Holderness, edited by Darin McGrew.

Original "My Wife's on a Healthy Diet" video by The Holderness Family: https://youtu.be/qLxu3Cb3fMA

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Woke up on a lazy Sunday
Ready for bacon, I was hungry
Smell a strange odor, make me nervous
Go downstairs, she made me breakfast

My wife’s on a healthy diet
Made up her mind, no use to fight it
Carbohydrate, she won’t buy it
Open up, she’s gonna make me try it

Lunch time is sprouts from Brussels
(She say) Make you fit and full of muscles
(I say) Running errands for a while
Order lunch made animal style [1]

My wife’s on a healthy diet
She gonna make me try it
I just wanna dip and fry it
Sorry, Hon, gonna super-size it

Dinner time looks like spaghetti
In my mouth tastes like zucchini
How I ask this while being nice?
Why this cauliflower lyin’ about being rice?

My wife’s on a healthy diet
Swiss chard, she make me try it
Now my butt is no longer quiet
Sit upwind, don’t sit beside it

Next week, she will be a vegan
Week later, she’ll go non-gluten
Next month, she will just start juicin’
Or Paleo, or whatever Oprah’s doin’

[1] animal style: a popular "secret" style at In-N-Out Burger