Trump-Biden Debate Rap

LYRICS

[Trump]"I brought back football."
Nice, I brought back taffy
This is a joke debate
Why is nobody laughing?

Wait, this is the real thing?
This is absurd
What are we even watching?
I can't get in a word

I don't criticize supporters!
However zany
So stand down and stand by
Ayatollah Khameni

[BIDEN] "Will you shut up, man"
Oh, so that's how it's presented?
Well back up out my way
Y'all about to get out-presidented!

The rule of law is important
On that we agree
That's why, if I lose
I will never concede!

Fake news is a problem
It's breaking the nation
It's—wait a minute
I gotta retweet this misinformation…

Think he's strong on the military?
Please, don't bother
He's going through generals like
The Harlem Globetrotters

They're dropping like flies
I'm your ideal pick
He's lost more mad dogs
Than Michael Vick

A return to normalcy
Wouldn't that be endearing?
A time of civility
like the Kavanaugh hearings

Who'd even WANT this job?
You'd have to be a fool
Ain't had a job THIS bad since I cleaned
Jerry Falwell's pool

He's better on Covid?
I'd have to make an objection
I've seen essential oils with better
Virus protection

Shoot, I'm gonna get emails…
Not the best placement
Mr. Biden?
Can I hide in your basement?

Undecided voters
I offer this take
You both have a very important
Decision to make.

This can't be the new normal.