Maybe this "Santa Claus" entity is one of those super-programs in the Matrix?

And the VERY BEST PART of this entire Santa Claus mishegoss? Your North American Aerospace Defense Command actually TRACKS HIM. Real-time. All night.

They know where this creepy dude creeping out on your kids and violating your space-time continuum is AT ALL TIMES, and they do ABSOLUTELY NOTHING about it.

What.

The.

Hell.

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