4 years ago

Question 94

"Dear Gopal,
for me it's similar to Q&A No. 31, only that I've been physically intimate with the man a few times. After that I felt very charged for one day and then I feel lots of suffering. I have the idea that I can only survive if I physically cling to the man (like a baby with ther mom) and otherwise i will die. I feel so much pressure to physically reconnect. I mentally understand everything you explained in Q&A No. 31. But i can't feel it.
Only when I talk badly about my partner in my head (he often dissociates / is in shutdown and is also intimate with other women) I don't want to merge anymore. A short time later the suffering starts again. We have been sharing honestly every day for the past two months. I also think that I have already sharing everything honestly. I'm also afraid that he will create even more distance when he feels how needy I am. I shared that too.
What can I do to feel that my life does not depend on physical closeness? I've seen Q&A No. 31 over and over again. I feel like it just doesn't go into my system.
Thank you very much for your work."

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