My BF and I Broke Up Because of Religion but I Think We Made a Mistake

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3 years ago
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Question:

I had a question regarding religion in relationships. I am not a religious person, but my ex is.

We broke up because I felt like what he wanted in life when it came to religion was too much of an imposition for me.

I was raised Hindu and enjoy participating in our festivals/ceremonies simply for the fun of it, but he says that if we got married and had kids, they wouldn’t be able to partake in these events since it would be honoring another god (he’s Christian).

He would also want our kids to be baptized. I’m totally OK with him following his religion, but I don’t like the fact that I can’t celebrate my festivals with my kids.

He even said he wouldn’t participate in a Hindu wedding.

I broke it off because I fear I would turn resentful later in life for him having taken these things away from me.

He also said that I’d have to change my surname after marriage and that is something I see as a red flag— the fact that I have to do it, like it’s not my decision to make.

However, the hard part is that we are perfectly compatible in every other way. We share the same values, same morals, everything. We see and think about the world in the same way.

I’ve never met anyone I’ve been so in sync with nor been so comfortable with.

How do I shake off the feeling that I won’t find someone like him again, that I may be giving him up for the things that perhaps won’t matter in the long run?

For context, I’m 29-years-old and we tried to work it out for four years. It was on and off during these years because of these concerns. Neither of us are happy with breaking it off, but I don’t see how this can work without him meeting me in the middle.

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