My BF Prefers P**N to Me

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"Hi, Dr. Karin,

I’m hoping you and maybe the community could give me some advice or even clarity on a situation (anonymously).

I’ve been with my partner for four years; he’s always enjoyed p—n.

It does nothing for me personally when I’m in a relationship, but I have watched it when single in the past and have tried to enjoy it with my partner.

But, I feel he focuses solely on the screen and not me, so that stopped, as it turned me off.

For the last 12 months he slept on the sofa only coming to bed on occasional nights. He says this is because he struggles to sleep.

I’ve caught him in the night several times m********ing to p**n and have learned he does this every night and/or in the early hours of the morning—even when we have been intimate with each other.

This has started to really play on my mind. I’m feeling more and more insecure and hurt by it.

Is this normal? Are my feelings an overreaction?"