How Many Compromises are Too Many?

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3 years ago
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I wanted to ask you opinion about a friend’s relationship. My friend got to know this guy around the time he was diagnosed with diabetes—they actually knew each other before but he started being nice when he found out about his illness. My friend told me she sometimes asks herself if his change of heart was because of his illness.

He is from northern Spain and she is from the South. But she had to move to the North because there was no way he could live anywhere else. She’s working online so she has no friends over there.

She works all day and afterwards she cooks because of his diet. Apparently his kind of diabetes is very serious so he has to use insulin. He has super strict diet guidelines etc. He also cooks, of course. They take turns. She only eats what he eats because it is easier to cook the same meal and because she thinks it is disrespectful to eat a donut at home in front of him. His diet is very expensive because of all the supplements, special food, organic, etc. She has always been a very frugal person. She always buys very cheap things and clothes because she doesn't like spending money but she has to spend her money on his diet.

He teases her because she buys cheap things. But his lifestyle is partly paid by his mom—which is where they spend their weekend time. The mom buys him clothes and pays for some of his vacations holidays.

My friend has actually been at her mom's for couple of weeks. She wants to stay longer—her mom was widowed last year, but he keeps calling her to come home.

Do you think one has to compromise so many things or am I being too critical regarding my opinion of him?

💗💗💗

The Love & Life episode to help with this question: ep. 135 Why Core Values are the Secret to a Happy Relationship

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