He Cheated on Me When We Were First Together and Lied About It…

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Question:

I've been with a man for a year. He has cheated on women in his previous relationships, including his marriage (he’s been divorced 4 years.) He said that’s all in his past, that he's grown, and that we as a couple—we’re different.

We've made a point of total honesty, reassurance and trust. We’ve planned on being together forever and having a family.

But, I found out that the beginning of our relationship overlapped with his relationship with another woman he loved and with whom he had a long term relationship prior to me. He also slept with his neighbor in the first few weeks of us deciding to be together and exclusive. It didn’t happen again but he did lie about it.

He said he lied because he thought I would break it off with him and in his mind, it was early days and was just “fun.” He and the neighbor still have semi-regular contact.

I’ve said to him that I don't care what he did but please be honest or just tell me you don't want to talk about it—just never lie.

Maybe I am reading too much into it and expected too much too early?

He has said he will talk through some of his past with me (before us) to show he trusts me and I can trust him. He says he has not told anyone about his past before; this is new.

And, he will seek counseling to help break bad habits of the past.